What the hell do you know?

There’s something strange going on here, people may not even believe these, but I swear they are as close to verbatim as I can remember, and I won’t soon forget them.

The other week I had trouble finding the number for the pizza place so I made a point of grabbing a take-out menu so I’d have the number right on it, no confusion… Yesterday I called the number on the menu and got a confused teen.
“Hello?”
“I’d like to order a pizza.”
“Hello?”
“Hi…, um, I’d like to order a pizza.”
“Who is this?”
“Oh, sorry I must have the wrong number, I was trying to order a pizza.”
“You wanna order a pizza?”
“Yes.”
“Who is this?”
“Never mind, thank you-“
“Hang on I’ll give you the pizza guy”
(very long pause) older guy answers
“Hello?”
“Hi, I’m trying to order a pizza”
“Are you in the hotel?”
“No…”
“You’d like to order a pizza?”
“Yes.”
“Who is this?”
“My name’s Auren and I’m just trying to order a pizza.”
“You’d like to order a pizza?”
“That’s the idea, who am I talking to isn’t this the pizza place?”
“Yes, but if you want to order pizza you have to call the restaurant directly, the cell phone isn’t in the restaurant.”
(pause)
“So can you patch me through to the restaurant or give me the number?”
“Where’d you get this number?”
“Off your menu!”
“No, I’m not sure where you got that, you’ll have to call the restaurant…”
“And…?! How do I do that?”

He gave me a number and I called it and the guy answers properly with the name and everything, whew, I found it!
“I’d like to order a pizza.”
“OK what can I get you…OH, sorry we just ran out.”
“Of pizza?”
“Yes.”
“You ran out of pizza?”
“Yes…I think we’ll put some more on soon.”
“How long will that take?”
“An hour or two.”
“OK thanks,” (click).

That was strange but a call a week or so ago weirded me out more. I was trying to get a hold of the school principle, who I’m on good terms with and who was expecting my call. I dial:
“Is Audrey available?”
“This is Audrey.”
“Hi, Audrey, this is Auren, I was hoping to talk to you about back to school, maybe talk to some teachers, all that, is now a good time for me to stop by?”
“OK” her voice didn’t sound right for the usually upbeat principle in her office mid-morning, kind of slow and sleepy.
“Now’s a good time to stop by?”
“OK”
(pause)
“We can arrange a time, whatever’s convenient for you…”
“Now’s OK,” she said sounding strange, almost drugged.
“And do you know if there are some teachers around right now I might be able to talk to?”
“I dunno.”
“You don’t know if there are any other teachers in the school?”
“I dunno.”
“Are there likely to be teachers around? With school starting next week I thought most of them would be?”
“I think so.”
“You think there are teachers around?”
“I dunno.”
“What do you think the chances are I might find one if I come by?”
“I dunno.”
“But I should come over right now?”
“What’s this going to involve?”
By this point it was clear something was definitely not right but I couldn’t figure out what, or how to get out of it without risking embarrassing the principle. To make it worse the weirdness had made me blank out on her last name.
“I was hoping to come and talk to you for a bit and hopefully some other teachers, maybe take some pictures…”
“OK fine.”
“That’s OK? I should come over and do that now?”
“OK.”
Finally I just had to ask:
“Is this really Audrey?”
“Yes.”
“The school principle?”
“No.”
“This isn’t the school principal?”
“No.”
(long pause)
“This is a different Audrey?”
“I dunno.”
“OK thanks,” (click).

What are the odds of a wrong number with the same, not so common name, and why did she keep answering questions?