I'll post a real entry within a week but I just remembered this video my brother showed us over the holidays. We hurt ourselves laughing. Anyone who likes U2...or hates U2 will get a big kick out of it. Keep an eye on Bush. Link also at left half way down.
http://www.mothergooserocks.com/headandshoulders.html
Monday, February 06, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
I can’t believe it’s 2006
At the risk of dating myself (apologies to those older than me) I distinctly remember calculating how old I’d be at the end of the millennium and being astonished at how old and far away that seemed. Now we’re over the hump through yet another decade. Decades are starting to feel about as long as years once did.
I’ve been sick since Christmas and as busy as ever. Still enjoying all the new challenges here but the learning curve on this new job still seems endless, shouldn’t it level off and slow a bit at some point? I’m getting tired of being tired. As usual even stopping to write this means time not spent on the work stuff I should be doing.
I’m so looking forward to this election ending—work wise—even though it appears my fellow Canucks are about to elect an evil right wing extremist government. The thing I can’t understand is whether people are too apathetic and non-political to notice who the ReformConservatives are, or whether that’s who most Canadians actually identify with. If the later is true, I need to spend some time out of this country.
I’ll let the country aspire to the greatness of the U.S. and let them claw their way all the way to the bottom of the heap with the least educated and poorest nation in the developed world. Is it really as simple as people buying into the Hollywood-American Myth? “If I just work hard enough for my wonderful boss—and pay less tax—and get that second SUV—everything will work out perfectly—fuck everyone too stupid and lazy to get a job as good as mine.”
O.K. I’m done ranting, I’m tired, I’m going back to work so I can get to sleep before 2 a.m.
At the risk of dating myself (apologies to those older than me) I distinctly remember calculating how old I’d be at the end of the millennium and being astonished at how old and far away that seemed. Now we’re over the hump through yet another decade. Decades are starting to feel about as long as years once did.
I’ve been sick since Christmas and as busy as ever. Still enjoying all the new challenges here but the learning curve on this new job still seems endless, shouldn’t it level off and slow a bit at some point? I’m getting tired of being tired. As usual even stopping to write this means time not spent on the work stuff I should be doing.
I’m so looking forward to this election ending—work wise—even though it appears my fellow Canucks are about to elect an evil right wing extremist government. The thing I can’t understand is whether people are too apathetic and non-political to notice who the ReformConservatives are, or whether that’s who most Canadians actually identify with. If the later is true, I need to spend some time out of this country.
I’ll let the country aspire to the greatness of the U.S. and let them claw their way all the way to the bottom of the heap with the least educated and poorest nation in the developed world. Is it really as simple as people buying into the Hollywood-American Myth? “If I just work hard enough for my wonderful boss—and pay less tax—and get that second SUV—everything will work out perfectly—fuck everyone too stupid and lazy to get a job as good as mine.”
O.K. I’m done ranting, I’m tired, I’m going back to work so I can get to sleep before 2 a.m.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Merry...Holiday?
I actually get (almost) a week off! I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a week off. I think the last time I had more than 2 consecutive days completely off & free may have been May of 2004.
Anyway I just finished work and it’s barely hit me yet, boy do I plan to sleep tonight. I was thinking about the happy holidays thing (again) and figured rather than ranting here I’d just adapt the editorial where I already did that:
Happy Holidays
I chose that headline very intentionally. It’s strange, three months ago it didn’t occur to me there could be controversy tied to such a universal term, but now, thanks to our rancorous neighbours, even this has become a hot political issue.
I’m not sure how many are aware, but believe it or not in the U.S. right now there is a debate raging between liberals and the neo conservatives who feel there is a “war on Christmas” because the rest of the country wants to include more than a fundamentalist Christian definition of the holiday season.
According to notorious American pundits like Pat Robertson and Bill O’Riley the use of the term “happy holidays” is personally offensive to good Christians because it obscures the true meaning of the holiday and intentionally excludes them. Now right off, there’s some impressive circular logic: ‘being inclusive excludes those of us who don’t want to be inclusive…?’
So apparently there’s a group of people in the U.S. who want to define the holiday season not as a time of family and friends and loving and giving among people of all religions (or non-religions) but as a sombre religious event to mark the founding of their religion. (Because that’s what Christmas usually is? I remember when I was a kid and me and all the neighbourhood kids waited breathlessly for weeks for that ecstatic moment when we could wake up and—go to church?!)
There are actually U.S. groups trying to organise boycotts of company’s that use the word “holiday.”
Leaving aside the fact that Christmas started as a pagan ritual this all seems a rather odd approach. More than anything I suppose it highlights the deep and increasingly acrimonious divide between left and right in the U.S.
Mostly I feel sorry for those who feel “happy holidays” is some kind of personal attack. These must be very scared and insecure people. Nobody’s saying they can ever use “Merry Christmas” again, it’s simply that since there are a number of holidays around the same time of year “happy holidays” is often just more accurate. Obviously we know to someone like Bill O’Riley Chanukah, Ramadan and Kwanzaa don’t count, but what about New Years?
My interest in the season is the social aspect. I imagine that’s true of many in this increasingly diverse and secular society. The bottom line and the end of the “debate” in all this seems to be: “happy holidays” includes “Merry Christmas” and everyone else. The opposite is not true.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Merry Christmas.
I actually get (almost) a week off! I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a week off. I think the last time I had more than 2 consecutive days completely off & free may have been May of 2004.
Anyway I just finished work and it’s barely hit me yet, boy do I plan to sleep tonight. I was thinking about the happy holidays thing (again) and figured rather than ranting here I’d just adapt the editorial where I already did that:
Happy Holidays
I chose that headline very intentionally. It’s strange, three months ago it didn’t occur to me there could be controversy tied to such a universal term, but now, thanks to our rancorous neighbours, even this has become a hot political issue.
I’m not sure how many are aware, but believe it or not in the U.S. right now there is a debate raging between liberals and the neo conservatives who feel there is a “war on Christmas” because the rest of the country wants to include more than a fundamentalist Christian definition of the holiday season.
According to notorious American pundits like Pat Robertson and Bill O’Riley the use of the term “happy holidays” is personally offensive to good Christians because it obscures the true meaning of the holiday and intentionally excludes them. Now right off, there’s some impressive circular logic: ‘being inclusive excludes those of us who don’t want to be inclusive…?’
So apparently there’s a group of people in the U.S. who want to define the holiday season not as a time of family and friends and loving and giving among people of all religions (or non-religions) but as a sombre religious event to mark the founding of their religion. (Because that’s what Christmas usually is? I remember when I was a kid and me and all the neighbourhood kids waited breathlessly for weeks for that ecstatic moment when we could wake up and—go to church?!)
There are actually U.S. groups trying to organise boycotts of company’s that use the word “holiday.”
Leaving aside the fact that Christmas started as a pagan ritual this all seems a rather odd approach. More than anything I suppose it highlights the deep and increasingly acrimonious divide between left and right in the U.S.
Mostly I feel sorry for those who feel “happy holidays” is some kind of personal attack. These must be very scared and insecure people. Nobody’s saying they can ever use “Merry Christmas” again, it’s simply that since there are a number of holidays around the same time of year “happy holidays” is often just more accurate. Obviously we know to someone like Bill O’Riley Chanukah, Ramadan and Kwanzaa don’t count, but what about New Years?
My interest in the season is the social aspect. I imagine that’s true of many in this increasingly diverse and secular society. The bottom line and the end of the “debate” in all this seems to be: “happy holidays” includes “Merry Christmas” and everyone else. The opposite is not true.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Superfluous superlatives
I probably realised recently that I probably use the word probably too much…probably mostly in spoken form but I realised it when I left someone an 11 word note that used “probably” twice. I’ve probably been rather self conscience of it since then and have probably stopped myself from using the word many times since then, though I feel I probably still use it too much – oddest part: I don’t even like the word.
Anyway still busy wrapping up two papers this week (one a week usually taxes my system). I realized I’m laying out like 100 pages in a week and a half. Will get to run back to Nelson for a few days. Just wanted to check in and leave some random thoughts.
Another thing that bothers me (‘cause I know you lay awake at night worried about what bothers me) is superfluous use of exaggeration and superlatives. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming to be any better than anyone else on this, it’s just one of those things that really gets under my skin. Like when someone says, “the car raced past at 1,000 miles an hour,” or “it was the funniest joke I’ve ever heard,” or…? (better examples I can’t think of at the moment).
Saw a crazy documentary the other day on a very rare case of a guy who has a 7-second memory, like the great movie Momento. He literally couldn’t carry on a conversation, read a book, or watch TV because mid-sentence he’d forget what was being said, let alone pages later.
He was unable to function on his own because he had no concept of whether he’d eaten, how to cook, or where his front door was for that matter. It was pretty staggering to try and imagine. It actually called into question some pretty basic notions of what makes us individuals and what makes up our unique personalities etc. Am I just the sum of my memories and experiences?
I probably realised recently that I probably use the word probably too much…probably mostly in spoken form but I realised it when I left someone an 11 word note that used “probably” twice. I’ve probably been rather self conscience of it since then and have probably stopped myself from using the word many times since then, though I feel I probably still use it too much – oddest part: I don’t even like the word.
Anyway still busy wrapping up two papers this week (one a week usually taxes my system). I realized I’m laying out like 100 pages in a week and a half. Will get to run back to Nelson for a few days. Just wanted to check in and leave some random thoughts.
Another thing that bothers me (‘cause I know you lay awake at night worried about what bothers me) is superfluous use of exaggeration and superlatives. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming to be any better than anyone else on this, it’s just one of those things that really gets under my skin. Like when someone says, “the car raced past at 1,000 miles an hour,” or “it was the funniest joke I’ve ever heard,” or…? (better examples I can’t think of at the moment).
Saw a crazy documentary the other day on a very rare case of a guy who has a 7-second memory, like the great movie Momento. He literally couldn’t carry on a conversation, read a book, or watch TV because mid-sentence he’d forget what was being said, let alone pages later.
He was unable to function on his own because he had no concept of whether he’d eaten, how to cook, or where his front door was for that matter. It was pretty staggering to try and imagine. It actually called into question some pretty basic notions of what makes us individuals and what makes up our unique personalities etc. Am I just the sum of my memories and experiences?
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Insomniac ramblings late night
sorry holidays something something
It’s 3:20 a.m. and I should be fast asleep since I have to get up in 4 hours for yet another long day…but I’m not, I’ve been working busily away and now I can’t stop my mind from racing so I figured I might as well do this, which I’ve been meaning to for ages.
Sorry I haven’t posted in a long time. I’m not going to apologise or make excuses for not posting, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy and I just haven’t gotten around to it, and I won’t apologise for it.
Anyway I was just writing an editorial about the insane “Happy Holidays” v. “Merry Christmas” debate raging among those nut jobs in the U.S. and it got me all riled and thinking in a political context. I tried to take a quick break, picked up the nearest magazine and ended up reading an Adbusters article on how we all have to unmediate ourselves, as in get rid of all the technology (cell phones, computers, iPods, TV’s, video games etc) between us and the real world.
Now I love Adbusters, I think it’s one of the few best magazines out there, and I don’t say that lightly, but that constant ‘evils of technology’ undertone always annoys me. This sort of Luddite mentality that technology is some kind of dark force outside ourselves, acting upon us in strange and often negative ways and that we all need less of it to be better people is so absurd.
Now anyone who knows me knows I’m no techno junkie, and you can check 3 entries ago, I like simplicity. Obviously most of us spend too much time suckling the boob tube or playing with our joysticks, but “technology” is not the latest electronic gadget, “technology” is simply all our tools, methods, skills etc that we use. The printed word is technology and I don’t think intellectuals spend a lot of time rallying against the printed word. A house is technology, the wheel, systems to clean water, cook food, etc etc.
I’d argue that technology is neutral, it can’t, almost by definition, be good or bad. It can be used for good or bad, but even something that is widely regarded as “bad” or is usually used to negative effect, like a bomb, isn’t in itself a good or bad thing. A bomb sitting in a warehouse is just an object. A collection of parts. It has the potential to be dangerous, but so does the printed word.
Many more people are killed by heart attacks every year than by bombs, does that make the couch an evil technology?
When shrill people yap on about the dangers of modern technology and how it’s corrupting youth and how violence is going to turn all the kids into serial killers (because the ancient world was so peaceful?) I’m reminded of this quote:
Children today “have bad manners, contempt for authority, show disrespect to their elders...They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents…and are tyrants over their teachers." That could easily be some grumpy old guy in 2005, but it’s Socrates.
We’ve always had things mediating the way we experience the world, whether a virtual reality headset, book, or the masked shaman telling a story around the campfire. Human history is the history of us using technology to help us mediate our perception and understanding of the world around us.
Anyway I’m finally feeling tired so I’m going to try to sleep.
Happy Holidays.
Ps. If you’re not up on the “holiday” debate check into it, it’s funny & maddening. Some starting points:
Banner: http://www.sptimes.com/2005/12/10/Hillsborough/Banner_stirs_Christma.shtml
O’Riley: http://mediamatters.org/items/200511100014
sorry holidays something something
It’s 3:20 a.m. and I should be fast asleep since I have to get up in 4 hours for yet another long day…but I’m not, I’ve been working busily away and now I can’t stop my mind from racing so I figured I might as well do this, which I’ve been meaning to for ages.
Sorry I haven’t posted in a long time. I’m not going to apologise or make excuses for not posting, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy and I just haven’t gotten around to it, and I won’t apologise for it.
Anyway I was just writing an editorial about the insane “Happy Holidays” v. “Merry Christmas” debate raging among those nut jobs in the U.S. and it got me all riled and thinking in a political context. I tried to take a quick break, picked up the nearest magazine and ended up reading an Adbusters article on how we all have to unmediate ourselves, as in get rid of all the technology (cell phones, computers, iPods, TV’s, video games etc) between us and the real world.
Now I love Adbusters, I think it’s one of the few best magazines out there, and I don’t say that lightly, but that constant ‘evils of technology’ undertone always annoys me. This sort of Luddite mentality that technology is some kind of dark force outside ourselves, acting upon us in strange and often negative ways and that we all need less of it to be better people is so absurd.
Now anyone who knows me knows I’m no techno junkie, and you can check 3 entries ago, I like simplicity. Obviously most of us spend too much time suckling the boob tube or playing with our joysticks, but “technology” is not the latest electronic gadget, “technology” is simply all our tools, methods, skills etc that we use. The printed word is technology and I don’t think intellectuals spend a lot of time rallying against the printed word. A house is technology, the wheel, systems to clean water, cook food, etc etc.
I’d argue that technology is neutral, it can’t, almost by definition, be good or bad. It can be used for good or bad, but even something that is widely regarded as “bad” or is usually used to negative effect, like a bomb, isn’t in itself a good or bad thing. A bomb sitting in a warehouse is just an object. A collection of parts. It has the potential to be dangerous, but so does the printed word.
Many more people are killed by heart attacks every year than by bombs, does that make the couch an evil technology?
When shrill people yap on about the dangers of modern technology and how it’s corrupting youth and how violence is going to turn all the kids into serial killers (because the ancient world was so peaceful?) I’m reminded of this quote:
Children today “have bad manners, contempt for authority, show disrespect to their elders...They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents…and are tyrants over their teachers." That could easily be some grumpy old guy in 2005, but it’s Socrates.
We’ve always had things mediating the way we experience the world, whether a virtual reality headset, book, or the masked shaman telling a story around the campfire. Human history is the history of us using technology to help us mediate our perception and understanding of the world around us.
Anyway I’m finally feeling tired so I’m going to try to sleep.
Happy Holidays.
Ps. If you’re not up on the “holiday” debate check into it, it’s funny & maddening. Some starting points:
Banner: http://www.sptimes.com/2005/12/10/Hillsborough/Banner_stirs_Christma.shtml
O’Riley: http://mediamatters.org/items/200511100014
Monday, November 28, 2005
So I made the move 1,000 km back west to Merritt B.C., happy to leave Hanna, where in 6 months I didn’t make a single friend and didn’t find a thing to do.
Now here in Merritt I’ve been overwhelmed with the work load (in a good way) and been too busy to write or settle into my apartment or get to know town or visit neighbouring towns as I hope to now that I’m back here – but I’m thrilled to be here.
It’s been so long since my last entry and the move etc I’m not going to bother recapping or anything except to say it was a mostly uneventful drive and move and now that I’ve been here a little over three weeks the entire prairie adventure is already fading away into distant memory.
I’m not going to write much right now, just wanted to get one quick entry in to mark the move, then I gotta get back to work. I hope to do another entry soon but no promises as I’ve been working 80+ hours a week.
Now here in Merritt I’ve been overwhelmed with the work load (in a good way) and been too busy to write or settle into my apartment or get to know town or visit neighbouring towns as I hope to now that I’m back here – but I’m thrilled to be here.
It’s been so long since my last entry and the move etc I’m not going to bother recapping or anything except to say it was a mostly uneventful drive and move and now that I’ve been here a little over three weeks the entire prairie adventure is already fading away into distant memory.
I’m not going to write much right now, just wanted to get one quick entry in to mark the move, then I gotta get back to work. I hope to do another entry soon but no promises as I’ve been working 80+ hours a week.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Goodbye Hanna
Just as I get back into the habit of regular posts, this’ll be my last for a while. I have to work today then pack up the car tonight, work again tomorrow morning, finish packing the car and start the drive back to B.C.
I’m going through Valemount to visit, which means I get to take a route I’ve never been on before – change is good. That route should only be an hour or two longer and breaks the 11-12 hour drive in two.
I’ll couch surf around Kamloops a couple days and start work Thursday. I don’t get my place in Merritt till Thursday or Friday so it’ll be Friday at the very earliest before I set up my computer up again.
Saw The Truman Show on TV again last night – dam that’s a good movie. I mean it’s no Godfather, but it’s amazing to watch a film tell you it’s going to tug a certain emotion and then actually do it effectively. Great music, a fun idea and interesting to think it was made before the whole “reality TV” craze. It came out around the same time as ED TV, which is also fun but no where near as good. The Truman Show’s pacing and plot just works so well, goes by really fast and everything fits into place so well.
Anyway, wasn’t planning on doing a whole review, maybe I should start doing that. I just liked the movie. Gotta run.
Just as I get back into the habit of regular posts, this’ll be my last for a while. I have to work today then pack up the car tonight, work again tomorrow morning, finish packing the car and start the drive back to B.C.
I’m going through Valemount to visit, which means I get to take a route I’ve never been on before – change is good. That route should only be an hour or two longer and breaks the 11-12 hour drive in two.
I’ll couch surf around Kamloops a couple days and start work Thursday. I don’t get my place in Merritt till Thursday or Friday so it’ll be Friday at the very earliest before I set up my computer up again.
Saw The Truman Show on TV again last night – dam that’s a good movie. I mean it’s no Godfather, but it’s amazing to watch a film tell you it’s going to tug a certain emotion and then actually do it effectively. Great music, a fun idea and interesting to think it was made before the whole “reality TV” craze. It came out around the same time as ED TV, which is also fun but no where near as good. The Truman Show’s pacing and plot just works so well, goes by really fast and everything fits into place so well.
Anyway, wasn’t planning on doing a whole review, maybe I should start doing that. I just liked the movie. Gotta run.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Satisfaction
It’s odd but I often feel a sense of superiority in my inferiority. The other day a guy hoped out of his fancy new sports car in the IGA parking lot as I was leaving. He was all cool, chest puffed, chin high and I couldn’t help chuckling. “Hehehe idiot, he thinks he’s so cool because he went $40,000 into debt for transportation around town.” I looked at my reliable junker that I never spend a cent on and thought, “sucker, I paid $300 for this and it does exactly the same thing!”
I remember having the same thought overseas seeing people trapped in antiseptic Hilton hotels where they hide in their western culture islands from the locals outside. I’d be suffering in sweltering, putrid, cockroach motels and painful 20-hour chicken bus journeys and I know I had more memorable, more life changing experiences than they did.
It’s not that I’m cheap—granted I generally have little money, so I don’t exactly get to be generous—but given half a chance I love to tip big, buy things for people and throw money around. But I get a strange feeling, like a deep sense of accomplishment by getting by with the cheapest thing possible, by not falling victim to our consumerist society’s need for the latest, biggest, most expensive.
I take a strange pleasure in NOT buying new clothes, not having the most expensive computer I can afford, and I’d even like to think if I was rich I wouldn’t be out buying Italian sports cars—OK one German one, I still want my Porsche. But I like the idea of, not necessarily an aesthetic lifestyle, forcing myself to go without, but of being comfortable with the least. Of living below my means.
Not sure what I’m going on about. Maybe moving again has me thinking about all my possessions. It sounds like I’m talking about a minimalist existence, but I’m not, I do in fact like stuff. I’m a packrat. But that’s more about a wimpy sentimentality or imagined connection to object, not about new toys and cars and clothes. I often feel more attached to virtually worthless things than the most expensive things I own.
I gotta run. Going to see if I can fix the trunk latch on my $300 car.
It’s odd but I often feel a sense of superiority in my inferiority. The other day a guy hoped out of his fancy new sports car in the IGA parking lot as I was leaving. He was all cool, chest puffed, chin high and I couldn’t help chuckling. “Hehehe idiot, he thinks he’s so cool because he went $40,000 into debt for transportation around town.” I looked at my reliable junker that I never spend a cent on and thought, “sucker, I paid $300 for this and it does exactly the same thing!”
I remember having the same thought overseas seeing people trapped in antiseptic Hilton hotels where they hide in their western culture islands from the locals outside. I’d be suffering in sweltering, putrid, cockroach motels and painful 20-hour chicken bus journeys and I know I had more memorable, more life changing experiences than they did.
It’s not that I’m cheap—granted I generally have little money, so I don’t exactly get to be generous—but given half a chance I love to tip big, buy things for people and throw money around. But I get a strange feeling, like a deep sense of accomplishment by getting by with the cheapest thing possible, by not falling victim to our consumerist society’s need for the latest, biggest, most expensive.
I take a strange pleasure in NOT buying new clothes, not having the most expensive computer I can afford, and I’d even like to think if I was rich I wouldn’t be out buying Italian sports cars—OK one German one, I still want my Porsche. But I like the idea of, not necessarily an aesthetic lifestyle, forcing myself to go without, but of being comfortable with the least. Of living below my means.
Not sure what I’m going on about. Maybe moving again has me thinking about all my possessions. It sounds like I’m talking about a minimalist existence, but I’m not, I do in fact like stuff. I’m a packrat. But that’s more about a wimpy sentimentality or imagined connection to object, not about new toys and cars and clothes. I often feel more attached to virtually worthless things than the most expensive things I own.
I gotta run. Going to see if I can fix the trunk latch on my $300 car.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Misc. bits and bytes
I only have 2 things going for me – my sense of humour.
***
Our company’s computer guy was in the office yesterday and said when he started something like 15 years ago his newsroom had 2 computers with 20 megabyte hard drives that cost $7500. Pretty hard to get your mind around that kind of leap in technology. Keep in mind computer disks now hold 700 megabytes, iPod’s are reaching 80,000 megabytes, and top end personal computers have 400,000 megabytes, quickly approaching 1,000,000 (1,000 gigabytes or a terabyte).
Bill Gates recently said, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
GM’s president responded with a list of 13 problems cars would have if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, including:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, buyers would have to learn to drive again because none of the controls would operate the same.
***
Have you ever been bobulated? How ‘bout whelmed or gruntled? Anyway just some (very) random thoughts for the day.
They call this east central Alberta. I went in on an office lotto pool for the record 6/49 draw. So when I connected to the internet and the first headline I saw was "group of co-workers in east central Alberta wins $54 million," I almost had a heart attack. I don't buy tickets often, just when it gets big. I figure if I'm going to pay my dreamers tax I might as well wait till it's a big dream. The winners are based less than 100 km away and some of them live within 30k. Everyone knows one of them.
I’m feeling rather overwhelmed and discombobulated as I work through the weekend and prepare to leave the province Monday, move 1,000 km away and start a whole new job etc.
I only have 2 things going for me – my sense of humour.
***
Our company’s computer guy was in the office yesterday and said when he started something like 15 years ago his newsroom had 2 computers with 20 megabyte hard drives that cost $7500. Pretty hard to get your mind around that kind of leap in technology. Keep in mind computer disks now hold 700 megabytes, iPod’s are reaching 80,000 megabytes, and top end personal computers have 400,000 megabytes, quickly approaching 1,000,000 (1,000 gigabytes or a terabyte).
Bill Gates recently said, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
GM’s president responded with a list of 13 problems cars would have if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, including:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, buyers would have to learn to drive again because none of the controls would operate the same.
***
Have you ever been bobulated? How ‘bout whelmed or gruntled? Anyway just some (very) random thoughts for the day.
They call this east central Alberta. I went in on an office lotto pool for the record 6/49 draw. So when I connected to the internet and the first headline I saw was "group of co-workers in east central Alberta wins $54 million," I almost had a heart attack. I don't buy tickets often, just when it gets big. I figure if I'm going to pay my dreamers tax I might as well wait till it's a big dream. The winners are based less than 100 km away and some of them live within 30k. Everyone knows one of them.
I’m feeling rather overwhelmed and discombobulated as I work through the weekend and prepare to leave the province Monday, move 1,000 km away and start a whole new job etc.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Whining Canadians
First off I admit I don’t know the facts about the following, I haven’t researched this, these are just half baked opinions – but I am so fricken sick of the media covering the Canadian whiners who were inconvenienced by the Hurricane in Mexico.
As I understand it dozens of people were killed, thousands left homeless and countless lives destroyed, enough coverage of how some wealthy Canadian’s flights home were delayed! I don’t mean to minimise any true hardships people suffered, but coverage of Canadians in discomfort just seems embarrassingly disproportionate for such a massive disaster. I’m not that interested in the whiny Canadian who had to spend the night in the airport before jetting back to their comfy lives back home when there’s a whole community down the street of people who lost their homes and businesses and family members without insurance etc etc.
And another thing, is it the Canadian government’s responsibility to save every Canadian around the world that gets into trouble? I don’t think so. I’ve been in tough situations overseas and it’s never occurred to me to call up the Canadian government for help. People travel at their own risk and live by the laws of the land they are in. If you break a law in Mexico you face the Mexican justice system with little or no help from Canada. If you sit in Mexico on vacation through a hurricane (which was widely reported before hand by the way) then I think you suffer through it like the rest of Mexico.
I’m not saying screw them all, leave there to die, if there are obvious, straight forward things the Canadian government can do on behalf of our citizens, fine. I just don’t get these self-absorbed tourist asses you see on the news outraged at their home governments saying, “I had to stay in a horrible shelter last night and the Canadian government didn’t help us out at all-” Fuck off! why should they do anything? They don't do anything about Canadians who are forced to spend the night in horrible shelters here in Canada & you people can afford better yourself, why would they help you?
These are the same kind of tourists who are shuttled from the airport to their Hilton resorts on the beach where they can enjoy sun, sand, Margaritas and room service without the inconvenience of having to face any actual Mexican culture.
So in summary, my deepest sympathies to anyone who faced serious hardships, but enough of the poor little rich people being the lead in hurricane stories.
____
Bart: [after a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the ponytail off the guy in front of us. [holds pony tail to his head] Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.
First off I admit I don’t know the facts about the following, I haven’t researched this, these are just half baked opinions – but I am so fricken sick of the media covering the Canadian whiners who were inconvenienced by the Hurricane in Mexico.
As I understand it dozens of people were killed, thousands left homeless and countless lives destroyed, enough coverage of how some wealthy Canadian’s flights home were delayed! I don’t mean to minimise any true hardships people suffered, but coverage of Canadians in discomfort just seems embarrassingly disproportionate for such a massive disaster. I’m not that interested in the whiny Canadian who had to spend the night in the airport before jetting back to their comfy lives back home when there’s a whole community down the street of people who lost their homes and businesses and family members without insurance etc etc.
And another thing, is it the Canadian government’s responsibility to save every Canadian around the world that gets into trouble? I don’t think so. I’ve been in tough situations overseas and it’s never occurred to me to call up the Canadian government for help. People travel at their own risk and live by the laws of the land they are in. If you break a law in Mexico you face the Mexican justice system with little or no help from Canada. If you sit in Mexico on vacation through a hurricane (which was widely reported before hand by the way) then I think you suffer through it like the rest of Mexico.
I’m not saying screw them all, leave there to die, if there are obvious, straight forward things the Canadian government can do on behalf of our citizens, fine. I just don’t get these self-absorbed tourist asses you see on the news outraged at their home governments saying, “I had to stay in a horrible shelter last night and the Canadian government didn’t help us out at all-” Fuck off! why should they do anything? They don't do anything about Canadians who are forced to spend the night in horrible shelters here in Canada & you people can afford better yourself, why would they help you?
These are the same kind of tourists who are shuttled from the airport to their Hilton resorts on the beach where they can enjoy sun, sand, Margaritas and room service without the inconvenience of having to face any actual Mexican culture.
So in summary, my deepest sympathies to anyone who faced serious hardships, but enough of the poor little rich people being the lead in hurricane stories.
____
Bart: [after a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the ponytail off the guy in front of us. [holds pony tail to his head] Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
No such thing as “pre-heat”
I don’t know why this has always bugged me so much. It’s a piddly little thing, but one of my biggest linguistic pet peeves is cooking directions that say, “pre-heat oven to 400 then put food in.” There’s no such thing! Heating is an action, you can’t pre-do an action. How is “pre-heating” an oven any different than “heating” an oven? You can’t pre-heat an oven any more than you can pre-sit down or pre-go to the store. It’s an action, if you do the action then it’s done. Pre-heating, if you take it literally is like heating something then letting it cool before you heat it to use it. It’s simple word order: “heat the oven, then put the food in,” like go to the store, then make dinner. You'd never say I'm going to make dinner but first I'm going to pre-go to the store.
I don’t know why this has always bugged me so much. It’s a piddly little thing, but one of my biggest linguistic pet peeves is cooking directions that say, “pre-heat oven to 400 then put food in.” There’s no such thing! Heating is an action, you can’t pre-do an action. How is “pre-heating” an oven any different than “heating” an oven? You can’t pre-heat an oven any more than you can pre-sit down or pre-go to the store. It’s an action, if you do the action then it’s done. Pre-heating, if you take it literally is like heating something then letting it cool before you heat it to use it. It’s simple word order: “heat the oven, then put the food in,” like go to the store, then make dinner. You'd never say I'm going to make dinner but first I'm going to pre-go to the store.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Woo hoo!
Best greeting ever: the office manager saw me in the office today and exclaimed loud & disappointed – “oh shit you’re here!”
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Sorry to disappoint regulars who’ve come to rely on the tragedy and self-pity of this blog but I have great news. I got a new job and will be moving on and up to great new things…er things that are somewhere other than here.
Better than getting out I’m headed back to where I just came from—almost—namely to the Merritt News, 45 min from friends in Kamloops, just over an hour from my brother in Kelowna and under 3 hours to downtown Vancouver. Woo hoo!
It seems funny to have moved 900 km for six months of work, apply all over the country, around the world in fact, only to move back whence I came.
Though I’m not that excited about Merritt itself (I don’t know it well and am prepared to discover I love it), I am excited about it’s general location and getting back to B.C. and the fun opportunity.
This venture has really affirmed that I am a simple B.C. boy not cut out for the wild new world of the prairies. One of my regrets is that I never got out of town to get a better sense of the province and find ways to enjoy the flatness…I’m still certain there are ways to enjoy the flat, I just never found time, money or friends to help me figure out what they are. I’ve never been so desperate to walk up a hill.
Now that I’m leaving the horror that has been the boredom and loneliness, this place already seems like a minor bad memory that I may even come to appreciate once I get some distance.
Anyway I was at the dentist today and I’m having trouble talking, so I’m going to run.
Best greeting ever: the office manager saw me in the office today and exclaimed loud & disappointed – “oh shit you’re here!”
---
Sorry to disappoint regulars who’ve come to rely on the tragedy and self-pity of this blog but I have great news. I got a new job and will be moving on and up to great new things…er things that are somewhere other than here.
Better than getting out I’m headed back to where I just came from—almost—namely to the Merritt News, 45 min from friends in Kamloops, just over an hour from my brother in Kelowna and under 3 hours to downtown Vancouver. Woo hoo!
It seems funny to have moved 900 km for six months of work, apply all over the country, around the world in fact, only to move back whence I came.
Though I’m not that excited about Merritt itself (I don’t know it well and am prepared to discover I love it), I am excited about it’s general location and getting back to B.C. and the fun opportunity.
This venture has really affirmed that I am a simple B.C. boy not cut out for the wild new world of the prairies. One of my regrets is that I never got out of town to get a better sense of the province and find ways to enjoy the flatness…I’m still certain there are ways to enjoy the flat, I just never found time, money or friends to help me figure out what they are. I’ve never been so desperate to walk up a hill.
Now that I’m leaving the horror that has been the boredom and loneliness, this place already seems like a minor bad memory that I may even come to appreciate once I get some distance.
Anyway I was at the dentist today and I’m having trouble talking, so I’m going to run.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Why does the Amazing Race suck so much?
I’m a sucker for reality TV. Don’t know when or how it happened, I hate the idea but I eagerly await Survivor and the Amazing Race. Or I used to. I don’t understand why they’ve destroyed the Amazing Race, it used to be one of my favourites.
The whole point of the Amazing Race was the…amazing…races they did all over the world to exotic locations, doing crazy things in strange and challenging cultures and testing the contestants abilities, often in front of some of the worlds best scenery.
This season for some reason they have decided not to bother with the “amazing” part of the race and just have families driving around the U.S. doing lame challenges. Recent “challenges” (I’m optimistic they’ll throw in a challenging one in any week now) include driving a bike around an oval track, sawing a piece of wood, riding a centrifuge, driving through mud, pushing Amish buggies and asking people in a park if they have a clue.
Of course it’s a family edition so we get even more of the obnoxious bickering than usual. And the crying! Why would I want to tune in to watch people crying? Seriously does anyone have a clue what the producers could possibly be thinking?
Anyway I suppose it’s a good excuse to stop watching—unless they go somewhere interesting—every less hour of TV is a good thing.
I’m a sucker for reality TV. Don’t know when or how it happened, I hate the idea but I eagerly await Survivor and the Amazing Race. Or I used to. I don’t understand why they’ve destroyed the Amazing Race, it used to be one of my favourites.
The whole point of the Amazing Race was the…amazing…races they did all over the world to exotic locations, doing crazy things in strange and challenging cultures and testing the contestants abilities, often in front of some of the worlds best scenery.
This season for some reason they have decided not to bother with the “amazing” part of the race and just have families driving around the U.S. doing lame challenges. Recent “challenges” (I’m optimistic they’ll throw in a challenging one in any week now) include driving a bike around an oval track, sawing a piece of wood, riding a centrifuge, driving through mud, pushing Amish buggies and asking people in a park if they have a clue.
Of course it’s a family edition so we get even more of the obnoxious bickering than usual. And the crying! Why would I want to tune in to watch people crying? Seriously does anyone have a clue what the producers could possibly be thinking?
Anyway I suppose it’s a good excuse to stop watching—unless they go somewhere interesting—every less hour of TV is a good thing.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I just found the bestest thing ever!
Check out Google Earth (http://earth.google.com/), it's a glimpse into what the internet could one day be - ie. awesome! (with some scary possibilities). This is the kind of thing I dreamt of as a kid who loved maps and geography and the world and the idea of these new computer things. Up to as late as last year, when the program started but wasn't yet functional, it still seemed distant sci-fi, but it's here and it's real and it's mind blowing.
I especially like getting in close, tilting back so you can see forward a bit and flying around valleys or along highways. Check out some of the cities like New York and Frisco where they actually have 3-D buildings! Or try the "fly-to" option in the top right. They are still building it so there are unclear areas, but in the detailed areas (ie. most major cities) you can see the potential.
ps. the picture is my old haunt in Vancouver, anyone who knows the Kerrisdale area might recognize 33rd and Mackenzie in the foreground
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
This time it's left at the sheep...seriously.
I like that people bug me to blog, but, as I’ve said, I have nothing to say. Bit of a conundrum for a writer. Boredom example: I got lost driving around the featureless countryside and it was one of the most exciting events in weeks. Any change in routine. It was another of those directions, “left, right, left, right, sheep.” This is not meant to impugn the guys on the other end, just an example of what a different world I’m in. I’m sure if they weren’t so nice they’d be saying: ‘what a freakin idiot, he can’t even follow simple directions.’
Verbatim: “After you turn off the highway (on the expansive 1 mile prairie grid) just take the first left, then a right, then a left, then a left and we’re on the left, you’ll see the brown house with the sheep in the yard.”
“Um…OK,” I said, “but being new to the area…is there a house number or a road name I can look for?”
“No, I don’t think so…I think it might be…? I’m not sure but it’s just past Bushwell’s shop.”
Of course nobody forced me to rush out the door without confirming the directions with someone in the office. I didn’t realise he was counting the turn off the highway as the first left and ended up 26 km off course by the time I was certain and turned back.
I really do like the old farmer guys though, I’m not being nice. There are a lot of people I dislike here but the farmer types I’ve met are always insanely hard working, down to earth, sharp old guys with good senses of humour and often a dead on, if simplistic, perspective on the world that I’m sure I could learn a lot from if I took more time.
Speaking of responses (at the start) how can you not like a comment like Jen’s? Nuthin like that to get my ass motivated to write. I was also complemented on the comedy of errors my blog has become, “it’s hilarious, just one bad thing after the other,” said a certain Polish j-student, who shall remain nameless to protect the Kinga. I took it as the complement I think it was meant as. Hours later I realised: hey, that’s my life that’s so comical!
Sometimes I feel guilty complaining. I have a job, many can’t say that. I’ve never had a 20% pay cut forced on me, like some friends. But I seriously think this place will drive me insane. I get visions of The Shining. I’ve been very conservative in terms of slamming things here because I don’t blame the people and place as much as my choice to come, plus I don’t want to be libellous. But I care less and less. I can’t find a way out and I find myself hoping I’ll get fired, to force the issue.
The latest twist is people seeking me out to tell me offensive racists, right wing jokes and stories about my idiotic, backward, leftist, dirty, hippie home. And this from people who keep electing Ralph Klein, trying to dismantle Healthcare and now drive THE largest vehicles of any society in history. Yeah, I’m out to lunch. I suppose it’s Karma considering the bitching I do. In my defence I’m the odd one out, what are they complaining about? They’re home; surrounded by the people they want to be surrounded by.
I’ve been given permission to write opinion pieces after months of asking, only to realise, to my horror, there is no way I can publish any of my actual opinions here without being lynched. Or at the very least making enemies I simply cannot afford to make.
I got into a rather heated argument the other day with someone who believes Bush is a smart guy and a great and heroic leader for his successful war on terrorism. How do you argue with that? I fought hard at first until I realised it is simply much too large a chasm to argue across.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Cowboys & separatists
I covered the indoor rodeo this weekend and someone asked me there was anything noteworthy like an accident, to which I replied, ‘it seems to me all rodeo rides are accidents, if a horse starts jumping out of control, that would be unintentional for most people, ie. an accident.’
Speaking of which it was a lot of fun trying to shoot action shots in a dark arena surrounded by dark dirt and cowboys wearing dark clothes! The darker the lighting the slower the film speed, so catching a bucking bronc was almost impossible. It took like 300 shots, a nice camera and lens and a fair bit of previous experience, to get 5 barely useable photos.
Otherwise the weekend was full of more photogenic (outdoor) events: bbq’s, horse parade, bbq’s, kids activities, bbq’s, arts & crafts show etc etc etc. It was VERY exciting stuff and another wonderful use of a weekend.
To change the subject they just pointed out a surprising fact on the news I have on in the background, over 25% of all the police killed in Alberta’s history were killed this year, ie. those 5 shot near Mayerthorpe bring the total to 19.
On a completely different subject does it seem odd to anyone else that our new Governor General has separatist sympathies? There’s actual video of her toasting Quebec independence. Now I don’t know anything about her and don’t necessarily think she has to be some kind of staunch lifelong federalist or whatever, but she’s out there celebrating the idea of destroying the country – that doesn’t seem to fit with the job description. Just a thought.
I covered the indoor rodeo this weekend and someone asked me there was anything noteworthy like an accident, to which I replied, ‘it seems to me all rodeo rides are accidents, if a horse starts jumping out of control, that would be unintentional for most people, ie. an accident.’
Speaking of which it was a lot of fun trying to shoot action shots in a dark arena surrounded by dark dirt and cowboys wearing dark clothes! The darker the lighting the slower the film speed, so catching a bucking bronc was almost impossible. It took like 300 shots, a nice camera and lens and a fair bit of previous experience, to get 5 barely useable photos.
Otherwise the weekend was full of more photogenic (outdoor) events: bbq’s, horse parade, bbq’s, kids activities, bbq’s, arts & crafts show etc etc etc. It was VERY exciting stuff and another wonderful use of a weekend.
To change the subject they just pointed out a surprising fact on the news I have on in the background, over 25% of all the police killed in Alberta’s history were killed this year, ie. those 5 shot near Mayerthorpe bring the total to 19.
On a completely different subject does it seem odd to anyone else that our new Governor General has separatist sympathies? There’s actual video of her toasting Quebec independence. Now I don’t know anything about her and don’t necessarily think she has to be some kind of staunch lifelong federalist or whatever, but she’s out there celebrating the idea of destroying the country – that doesn’t seem to fit with the job description. Just a thought.
Monday, September 19, 2005
This entry is roughly in the general vicinity of 711 words long
I was gazing out across the prairie the other day (cause that’s what you do when the TV’s off) and had a scary moment where I was thought of the slight waves in the horizon as “hills.” I need to see mountains!
People have been asking about another entry, which is nice, cause I work at a newspaper so nobody reads my writing, or they skim it and forget it in 20 minutes. It’s nice to hear someone actually reads something I write, even if it is just rambling. The glitch is I tend to wait until I have good news, or at least something funny to say, which doesn’t seem to happen often.
My Kamloops friends probably won’t even believe me when I say this, but I’ve never been good at making friends, that period was an anomaly. So I’ve been stuck out here for four months without making a single friend. Sure I’ve met everyone in town but aside from the dearth of interesting social activities or places to hang out, I have to cover every event so I can’t take part. Plus people seem distant with me as “media”.
I’m just no good at making friends. It’s like I’m missing a step. It’s always mystified me how people actually become friends. I think I missed that day in kindergarten. I struggle with it at the best of times but here it seems impossible.
I realised the other day that in 16 years in the workforce I’ve never made a friend at work. Ever. I mean I’ve been friendly with people at work, and I have what I suppose you’d call “work friends,” on rare occasions we may even socialise outside work, but we never become friends. Every friend I’ve ever had has come from school, or roommates, or travel.
Anyway, aside from moving 1000 km from home to be poorer and lonelier, I keep stumbling into crap that doesn’t help. At the moment, for example, I’m facing charges for having my car parked on the street without insurance – which was almost unavoidable. Apparently the best case scenario (after my court appearance) is a $280 fine, the worst is jail time. Of course jail time seems extremely unlikely, it’s just the fact that it’d be included that bums me out. Did I really need that added?
OK I did think of one funny thing. There’s a cool commercial for HP photo paper, which you may have seen, the ones with cool picture frame effects and good music. I enjoy the commercials enough that it took me a while to catch the stupid part. They claim the paper will “resist fading for up to 108 years”… What the fuck?!
I mean seriously, what? That breaks down on so many levels it’s mind boggling. “Resists fading” is as vague as you can be. “Hey, it faded!” “Yeah I know but it tried not to.” And what counts as “fading” exactly? And it makes this attempt at not fading for “up to” a time…so it may or may not resist this vague thing for that long, but it may only do it for half that? And my brain starts to tickle when I try to apply all this overlapping vagueness to “108 years”.
I checked the web for clues to this astonishing statement and found they have other papers that “resist fading for up to” 82 years and 115 years respectively. No explanation of what the PR people were smoking when they came up with it.
Oh, I have an unrelated question for you that’s been bugging me. Why do we only use the term Latino to describe people of Spanish decent when Italians are in fact more Latin?
In yet another unrelated thought, I was going to go off on a rant against the U.S. and the evils of the capitalism but I’m tired and have already put out my share of negativity so I’ll just leave you with this thought: in capitalism if a company’s not growing it’s dying, the foundation of the entire structure and thought system is growth…so where does it end?
Parting quote: “Canada? Why should we leave America to visit America Jr.?” - Homer
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Ghoti spells fish
I am now the embarrassed owner of a 1978 Olds Ninety-eight, the silliest boat of a car ever, and I mean that literally. Seriously, try it, get a clear image in your mind when I say “biggest silliest boat of a car ever,” it’s grey, then click on ‘my pics’ at the bottom of the ‘Friends’ list at right. Go a head do it now, I'll wait.
Right! I'm reminded of the line about Rainier Wolfcastle's Humvee mileage on the Simpson's "one highway, zero city." It’s the type of car 87-year-olds drive 42 km/h to a dinner buffet at 3pm in Boca Raton.
Now that I got my boat I can go fishing, or ghoti’ing. That’s the "gh" from cough, the "o" from women and the "ti" from nation.
Ode to Pepé
So I walked out my front door the other day only to discover an empty street where Pepé the Wondercar should have been. I was a bit confused. I’d never park it anywhere else, for a second I wondered if I’d gotten drunk and forgotten it somewhere. Nope.
I looked up and down the street and around the corner to be sure. Nothing. I wracked my brain about when I'd last seen it and drew a blank. I hadn’t left the house all day and it's often obscured by a bush so I don’t know if I’d have noticed if it’d been gone first thing in the morning.
I hadn’t driven it all weekend but I’d gone out on foot a couple times and would certainly have noticed it missing the last time I came in. After pondering for several minutes to make sure there wasn’t an obvious answer, I called the cops. They took a missing car report.
Ten minutes later the cop called back to say it had been towed because the insurance expired, no warning, no knock on the door, they just came and took it which means I’ll never see it again.
Normally I’d be able to renew the insurance, pay the $80 tow charge and that’d be that, but to insure an out of province car I’d have to have it inspected, which I know it won’t pass, so that’s the end of the story—time to speed up the new (used) car search. I knew the insurance was running out, so I was looking, I just didn’t expect it to happen so abruptly. Luckily I could walk to most interviews around this small, busless town for a few days.
I’ve said this a thousand times, but that car was about THE best purchase I’ve ever made. I bought it for my Chilliwack job, just hoping it’d last the summer, after which I’d happily trash it knowing I’d gotten good value. I had a strict no-spending policy, I’d drive it till it died, period.
Over the summer I put 10,000 km on it racing around Chilliwack and Vancouver city traffic and back and forth over the Coquihalla almost weekly, it still ran great, felt great at top highways speeds, got great mileage and never cost a cent (other than one highway tire blow-out).
At the end of the summer I thought about putting some money into it but a mechanic said it was on the verge of falling apart and no mechanic would work on it. After that I took it easy and avoided highway trips, but ended up driving it to school all winter, then hauling a shit load of crap 900 km out here.
Despite endless and growing eccentricities it still hummed, I’d still never put a cent into it and it had only cost me $400. I’ll miss it.
I am now the embarrassed owner of a 1978 Olds Ninety-eight, the silliest boat of a car ever, and I mean that literally. Seriously, try it, get a clear image in your mind when I say “biggest silliest boat of a car ever,” it’s grey, then click on ‘my pics’ at the bottom of the ‘Friends’ list at right. Go a head do it now, I'll wait.
Right! I'm reminded of the line about Rainier Wolfcastle's Humvee mileage on the Simpson's "one highway, zero city." It’s the type of car 87-year-olds drive 42 km/h to a dinner buffet at 3pm in Boca Raton.
Now that I got my boat I can go fishing, or ghoti’ing. That’s the "gh" from cough, the "o" from women and the "ti" from nation.
Ode to Pepé
So I walked out my front door the other day only to discover an empty street where Pepé the Wondercar should have been. I was a bit confused. I’d never park it anywhere else, for a second I wondered if I’d gotten drunk and forgotten it somewhere. Nope.
I looked up and down the street and around the corner to be sure. Nothing. I wracked my brain about when I'd last seen it and drew a blank. I hadn’t left the house all day and it's often obscured by a bush so I don’t know if I’d have noticed if it’d been gone first thing in the morning.
I hadn’t driven it all weekend but I’d gone out on foot a couple times and would certainly have noticed it missing the last time I came in. After pondering for several minutes to make sure there wasn’t an obvious answer, I called the cops. They took a missing car report.
Ten minutes later the cop called back to say it had been towed because the insurance expired, no warning, no knock on the door, they just came and took it which means I’ll never see it again.
Normally I’d be able to renew the insurance, pay the $80 tow charge and that’d be that, but to insure an out of province car I’d have to have it inspected, which I know it won’t pass, so that’s the end of the story—time to speed up the new (used) car search. I knew the insurance was running out, so I was looking, I just didn’t expect it to happen so abruptly. Luckily I could walk to most interviews around this small, busless town for a few days.
I’ve said this a thousand times, but that car was about THE best purchase I’ve ever made. I bought it for my Chilliwack job, just hoping it’d last the summer, after which I’d happily trash it knowing I’d gotten good value. I had a strict no-spending policy, I’d drive it till it died, period.
Over the summer I put 10,000 km on it racing around Chilliwack and Vancouver city traffic and back and forth over the Coquihalla almost weekly, it still ran great, felt great at top highways speeds, got great mileage and never cost a cent (other than one highway tire blow-out).
At the end of the summer I thought about putting some money into it but a mechanic said it was on the verge of falling apart and no mechanic would work on it. After that I took it easy and avoided highway trips, but ended up driving it to school all winter, then hauling a shit load of crap 900 km out here.
Despite endless and growing eccentricities it still hummed, I’d still never put a cent into it and it had only cost me $400. I’ll miss it.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
How are we going to talk to the neighbours?
Non-geeks will not likely enjoy this entry; you should skip to the previous one and take the quiz. Maybe I’ve been particularly bored but I’ve been thinking about life on other planets again. It seems to me a mathematical impossibility that there isn’t other life in the Universe.
The International Astronomical Union estimates there to be 70 sextillion stars in the known Universe, minimum.
Cosmologists now say planetary formation is common, most stars seem to have planets, but even imagining there is only 1 planet per million stars, and that only 1 out of every million planets is capable of supporting life that leaves 70 billion planets capable of supporting life.
Even if only 1 out of every million planets capable of supporting life happens to develop complex life, that still leaves, by the most conservative estimate possible, 70,000 planets with complex life forms in the known Universe.
Some respected estimates, such as that of Frank Drake (of the famous Drake Equation), even put the potential number of “communicating civilisations” (ie. intelligent) in our Galaxy alone at 10,000, which would mean there were trillions in the known Universe!
If the development of life on Earth was basically an accident and there are 70 billion planets with similar conditions, how is it possible that ours is the only place it happened? And if it happened one single other time wouldn’t that prove it’s not a once in a Universe anomaly? If it’s happened more than once it likely happened many times.
So it seems almost certain there is (or was) other life out there, and probably many occurrences, the only question then is the whether it’s life that we’d recognise and whether we could ever communicate with it.
For this the same basic math estimations work in reverse. Even if there are billions of intelligent civilisations out there the odds that we’d ever communicate with them starts to look small. SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) searches for radio signals and while that is the most logical form of contact, what are the odds that a civilisation would be using the same technology at the same time—the history of human high-tech being the tinniest blip of a micro-second on the scale of cosmic history.
Human’s have only been using radio signals for 100+ years and may very well move onto something better and different within 100 years. Earth is estimated to be about 5 billion years old, the Universe anywhere from 12 to 20 billion years old. Two hundred years is not a long time on that kind of scale (comic understatement). That doesn’t even take into account the complicating factor that it takes light 50,000 years to cross half our own little Galaxy, therefore the window of opportunity for civilisations to communicate seems small.
Also, the nearest Galaxy is 2 million light years away, meaning if we got a signal from a roughly technologically equivalent civilisation, they would be 2 million years more advanced when we recieved it—or long gone of course. Considering all of human history is only about 100,000 years what would a civilisation 2 million years more advanced look like? Let alone a billion years more advanced. I don’t know what any of this means, just some thoughts, just having fun blathering. I’ll stop.
Non-geeks will not likely enjoy this entry; you should skip to the previous one and take the quiz. Maybe I’ve been particularly bored but I’ve been thinking about life on other planets again. It seems to me a mathematical impossibility that there isn’t other life in the Universe.
The International Astronomical Union estimates there to be 70 sextillion stars in the known Universe, minimum.
Cosmologists now say planetary formation is common, most stars seem to have planets, but even imagining there is only 1 planet per million stars, and that only 1 out of every million planets is capable of supporting life that leaves 70 billion planets capable of supporting life.
Even if only 1 out of every million planets capable of supporting life happens to develop complex life, that still leaves, by the most conservative estimate possible, 70,000 planets with complex life forms in the known Universe.
Some respected estimates, such as that of Frank Drake (of the famous Drake Equation), even put the potential number of “communicating civilisations” (ie. intelligent) in our Galaxy alone at 10,000, which would mean there were trillions in the known Universe!
If the development of life on Earth was basically an accident and there are 70 billion planets with similar conditions, how is it possible that ours is the only place it happened? And if it happened one single other time wouldn’t that prove it’s not a once in a Universe anomaly? If it’s happened more than once it likely happened many times.
So it seems almost certain there is (or was) other life out there, and probably many occurrences, the only question then is the whether it’s life that we’d recognise and whether we could ever communicate with it.
For this the same basic math estimations work in reverse. Even if there are billions of intelligent civilisations out there the odds that we’d ever communicate with them starts to look small. SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) searches for radio signals and while that is the most logical form of contact, what are the odds that a civilisation would be using the same technology at the same time—the history of human high-tech being the tinniest blip of a micro-second on the scale of cosmic history.
Human’s have only been using radio signals for 100+ years and may very well move onto something better and different within 100 years. Earth is estimated to be about 5 billion years old, the Universe anywhere from 12 to 20 billion years old. Two hundred years is not a long time on that kind of scale (comic understatement). That doesn’t even take into account the complicating factor that it takes light 50,000 years to cross half our own little Galaxy, therefore the window of opportunity for civilisations to communicate seems small.
Also, the nearest Galaxy is 2 million light years away, meaning if we got a signal from a roughly technologically equivalent civilisation, they would be 2 million years more advanced when we recieved it—or long gone of course. Considering all of human history is only about 100,000 years what would a civilisation 2 million years more advanced look like? Let alone a billion years more advanced. I don’t know what any of this means, just some thoughts, just having fun blathering. I’ll stop.
Monday, September 05, 2005
How thrilling is your life?
The quiz below originally ran in The Oregonian & was reprinted in Harrower. It’s an interesting way to look at your life, as this commentator put it, it’s either way too easy or I’m way more fascinating than I ever dreamt—as are most of the people I know. I’d be curious for other people to take it & see some results, you don’t have to admit specifics, but be honest.
I found I could take it very conservatively, in which case I get 250 pts, which puts me firmly in “awesome, probably known as a ‘colourful character’ & lots of fun at parties full of good anecdotes.” Or if I’m more generous interpreting the questions I get 400, which according to their scale would put me somewhere ahead of James Bond.
Some examples of the generous marking option: I’ve never been SCUBA diving, so I didn’t take those pts, but I’ve been snorkelling in the tropics many times & swam with sharks, porpoises, sea lions, giant stingrays, piranha, anaconda etc etc & feel I should get some credit.
Like wise I’m obviously not a daredevil but I’ve done enough things (bridge jumping, stupid 16 yr old car racing etc) that I feel I should get a few more points. I didn’t initially give myself any pts for “cutting a record or music video” but in my music days I was recorded several times (school band etc), so I could take some points there. Similarly I didn’t give myself any points for being “the subject of a news article” even though I’ve been the subject of pieces I’ve written myself.
I didn’t give myself any pts for surviving disasters etc, but I have been in enough hairy situations (being in towns shelled by Khmer Rouge etc) that I could probably take some there. Political scandal? Does getting our college student president kicked out & charged financially for buying us beer with student funds count? Been in a gang? Does it count that we were 12, there were only 5 of us, we only lasted 9 months & the biggest crime we ever undertook was stealing a dirty magazine?
Anyway, good fun. Some of the questions are absurdly wide & generous: “ever committed a crime & gotten away with it?” – isn’t jaywalking a crime? Or “ever taken dangerous or illegal drugs?” – alcohol & tobacco are dangerous! Some are a little too specific: ever been in a Turkish prison? SOLO ocean voyage!? Seriously? How many people have EVER done that? If you’re that kind of person you’re not taking newspaper quizzes, you’re dining with Bono before you head off on your solo summit of Everest.
(add up points, only count once for each item)
Thrills
Ever gone:
Hang gliding 15
Parachuting 15
Windsurfing 10
SCUBA diving 15
Bungee jumping 20
White water rafting 10
Mountain climbing 10
Have you ever:
Set a sports record 20
Run a marathon 10
Competed in sports event seen by over 1,000 people 10
10 pts for each other daredevil activity (cliff jumping, drag racing etc?)
Travel
Ever:
Piloted an aircraft 10
Stowed away on a boat, plane, train 10
Hitchhiked cross country 10
Hiked or biked more than 150 km at one time 10
Sailed on a solo ocean voyage 30
Run off to join the circus 10
Visited a foreign country 1pt each
Add 1 pt for every city you’ve lived in & 5 pts per country
Twighlight zone
Ever:
Seen a ghost 10
Seen a UFO 10 (abduction 30)
Died & come back to life 20
Had an evil twin 10 (2pt for regular twin)
Been a member of a cult 10
Had a profound religious experience 20
Displayed extraordinary psychic powers 10
Fame & fortune
Ever:
Won more than $10,000 at once 20
Been extremely rich 10
Been homeless 20
Been on TV (5pts anonymous; 10pts name, face, voice; 30pts if you’re a star)
Been in a Hollywood movie (10pts extra, 20pts speaking)
Performed on a stage before more than 1,000 people 20
Cut a record or music video 20
Been the subject of a news article 10
Had something named after you (building, product, disease etc) 20
Been close friends with someone famous 5
Disasters etc
Ever survived:
Plane crash 20
Hurricane 10
Tornado 10
Major earthquake 5
Shipwreck 10
Serious auto accident 10
Ever:
Overcome a serious disease or disability 20
Fought in a war 20
Been attacked by deadly animal, insect, reptile 5
Witnessed a nuclear blast 20
Been the victim of a felony 5
Add 10pts for each disaster etc survived, not mentioned (avalanche, volcano etc)
Dark Side
Ever:
Been arrested 5
Been in prison 10 (add 50 for Turkish prison)
Escaped from prison 50
Committed a crime & gotten away with it 5
Been in a fight or brawl 10
Had anybody try to kill you 10
Had an extramarital affair 5
Taken dangerous or illegal drugs 5
Gone underground or undercover 10
Been involved in a political scandal 10
Been in a gang, crime family or outlaw group 10
Been in a high speed chase 5
Been a member of the Communist party 5
Fulfilled some forbidden fantasy too lurid to mention here 10
Good Deeds
Saved someone’s life 20
Saved an animals life 5
Joined a monastic order or done missionary work 20
Run for public office 10 (won 20)
Won a major award (local 5, provincial 10, national 20)
Regularly do volunteer/charity work 20
Everyday life
Ever:
Given birth 10 pts for each
Been married 10 pts each
Quit a job in protest or anger 5
Been fired 5
Been sued 5
Dropped out or been kicked out of school 5
Panhandled 5
Taken part in public protest 5 (add 20pts for riot)
Visited a nude beach/colony 5
Ever worked as a nurse, teacher, doctor, cop, fire-fighter, judge, clergy 20
Penalties
Minus 2 for every TV you own
Minus 1 for every hr of TV you watch in ave. week
Minus 5 if you sit behind a desk for more than 20hrs per week
Minus 2 if you own a video game system
Minus 2 if you wear music headphones in public
Minus 2 if you spend more than 2 hrs a week in a mall
Results
0-100: a quieter gentler life than some, but we can’t all be Indiana Jones
101-200: a good start, now it’s time to turn off the TV & start wracking up some points
201-300: fairly awesome, probably known as a “colourful character” & lots of fun at parties full of
good anecdotes. Or you cheated.
Over 300: Wow! Consider yourself lucky to be alive.
The quiz below originally ran in The Oregonian & was reprinted in Harrower. It’s an interesting way to look at your life, as this commentator put it, it’s either way too easy or I’m way more fascinating than I ever dreamt—as are most of the people I know. I’d be curious for other people to take it & see some results, you don’t have to admit specifics, but be honest.
I found I could take it very conservatively, in which case I get 250 pts, which puts me firmly in “awesome, probably known as a ‘colourful character’ & lots of fun at parties full of good anecdotes.” Or if I’m more generous interpreting the questions I get 400, which according to their scale would put me somewhere ahead of James Bond.
Some examples of the generous marking option: I’ve never been SCUBA diving, so I didn’t take those pts, but I’ve been snorkelling in the tropics many times & swam with sharks, porpoises, sea lions, giant stingrays, piranha, anaconda etc etc & feel I should get some credit.
Like wise I’m obviously not a daredevil but I’ve done enough things (bridge jumping, stupid 16 yr old car racing etc) that I feel I should get a few more points. I didn’t initially give myself any pts for “cutting a record or music video” but in my music days I was recorded several times (school band etc), so I could take some points there. Similarly I didn’t give myself any points for being “the subject of a news article” even though I’ve been the subject of pieces I’ve written myself.
I didn’t give myself any pts for surviving disasters etc, but I have been in enough hairy situations (being in towns shelled by Khmer Rouge etc) that I could probably take some there. Political scandal? Does getting our college student president kicked out & charged financially for buying us beer with student funds count? Been in a gang? Does it count that we were 12, there were only 5 of us, we only lasted 9 months & the biggest crime we ever undertook was stealing a dirty magazine?
Anyway, good fun. Some of the questions are absurdly wide & generous: “ever committed a crime & gotten away with it?” – isn’t jaywalking a crime? Or “ever taken dangerous or illegal drugs?” – alcohol & tobacco are dangerous! Some are a little too specific: ever been in a Turkish prison? SOLO ocean voyage!? Seriously? How many people have EVER done that? If you’re that kind of person you’re not taking newspaper quizzes, you’re dining with Bono before you head off on your solo summit of Everest.
(add up points, only count once for each item)
Thrills
Ever gone:
Hang gliding 15
Parachuting 15
Windsurfing 10
SCUBA diving 15
Bungee jumping 20
White water rafting 10
Mountain climbing 10
Have you ever:
Set a sports record 20
Run a marathon 10
Competed in sports event seen by over 1,000 people 10
10 pts for each other daredevil activity (cliff jumping, drag racing etc?)
Travel
Ever:
Piloted an aircraft 10
Stowed away on a boat, plane, train 10
Hitchhiked cross country 10
Hiked or biked more than 150 km at one time 10
Sailed on a solo ocean voyage 30
Run off to join the circus 10
Visited a foreign country 1pt each
Add 1 pt for every city you’ve lived in & 5 pts per country
Twighlight zone
Ever:
Seen a ghost 10
Seen a UFO 10 (abduction 30)
Died & come back to life 20
Had an evil twin 10 (2pt for regular twin)
Been a member of a cult 10
Had a profound religious experience 20
Displayed extraordinary psychic powers 10
Fame & fortune
Ever:
Won more than $10,000 at once 20
Been extremely rich 10
Been homeless 20
Been on TV (5pts anonymous; 10pts name, face, voice; 30pts if you’re a star)
Been in a Hollywood movie (10pts extra, 20pts speaking)
Performed on a stage before more than 1,000 people 20
Cut a record or music video 20
Been the subject of a news article 10
Had something named after you (building, product, disease etc) 20
Been close friends with someone famous 5
Disasters etc
Ever survived:
Plane crash 20
Hurricane 10
Tornado 10
Major earthquake 5
Shipwreck 10
Serious auto accident 10
Ever:
Overcome a serious disease or disability 20
Fought in a war 20
Been attacked by deadly animal, insect, reptile 5
Witnessed a nuclear blast 20
Been the victim of a felony 5
Add 10pts for each disaster etc survived, not mentioned (avalanche, volcano etc)
Dark Side
Ever:
Been arrested 5
Been in prison 10 (add 50 for Turkish prison)
Escaped from prison 50
Committed a crime & gotten away with it 5
Been in a fight or brawl 10
Had anybody try to kill you 10
Had an extramarital affair 5
Taken dangerous or illegal drugs 5
Gone underground or undercover 10
Been involved in a political scandal 10
Been in a gang, crime family or outlaw group 10
Been in a high speed chase 5
Been a member of the Communist party 5
Fulfilled some forbidden fantasy too lurid to mention here 10
Good Deeds
Saved someone’s life 20
Saved an animals life 5
Joined a monastic order or done missionary work 20
Run for public office 10 (won 20)
Won a major award (local 5, provincial 10, national 20)
Regularly do volunteer/charity work 20
Everyday life
Ever:
Given birth 10 pts for each
Been married 10 pts each
Quit a job in protest or anger 5
Been fired 5
Been sued 5
Dropped out or been kicked out of school 5
Panhandled 5
Taken part in public protest 5 (add 20pts for riot)
Visited a nude beach/colony 5
Ever worked as a nurse, teacher, doctor, cop, fire-fighter, judge, clergy 20
Penalties
Minus 2 for every TV you own
Minus 1 for every hr of TV you watch in ave. week
Minus 5 if you sit behind a desk for more than 20hrs per week
Minus 2 if you own a video game system
Minus 2 if you wear music headphones in public
Minus 2 if you spend more than 2 hrs a week in a mall
Results
0-100: a quieter gentler life than some, but we can’t all be Indiana Jones
101-200: a good start, now it’s time to turn off the TV & start wracking up some points
201-300: fairly awesome, probably known as a “colourful character” & lots of fun at parties full of
good anecdotes. Or you cheated.
Over 300: Wow! Consider yourself lucky to be alive.
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